It is no doubt that marriage takes work. Here were a few words of advice that I gave for those who want to avoid marital failure.
First, Don't Think It Can't Happen To You! I have read the statistics. I have seen what has happened in the lives of people who thought it would never happen to them. I would be a fool to say that it cannot happen to me. 1 Corinthians 10:12 says "let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall." It does not mean that I should live a paranoid life, but that I should realize that no relationship is disaster proof. That keeps me working hard in order to keep it growing.
Second, Don't Forget Your Primary Relationship Is Jesus! If you do not love Jesus, I hardly doubt you will love your spouse like you should. Jesus will never fail you, but your spouse might. Jesus will never leave you, but your spouse could. Remember that Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind (Matt. 22:37-38).
Third, Work Hard At Your Marital Relationship! It does not come easy, so it is something you need to work at. And sometimes in the working of the relationship, it hurts and is uncomfortable. Here are a few tips of some things that are crucial as you work at that relationship with your spouse.
- Spend some time away from the kids. A continual date night is important. Think through your relationship and be romantic. Take turns planning dates. Make sure that you are cultivating your relationship with each other and not only through the kids. For once the kids leave the house, you will have each other alone.
- Get away for a week or weekend. This is the last point on steroids. Spend some longer times away from everything and just have fun with each other.
- Create open lines of communication. You must be able to talk to your spouse. Are you able to express your feelings and thoughts? Do you even try?
- Study Scripture & pray with each other. Talk about what you are reading in the Word together. Develop your relationship with God through Jesus (who is your only mediator). Pray everyday for your spouse.
- Stay intimate with each other. Seek each other out in the bedroom as much as you do outside of it.
Marriage is not easy, but it is worth it!