Over the past several months, I have been reading a new book on marriage with my wife. No Ordinary Marriage by Tim Savage is quickly becoming a favorite book on this subject. Hopefully, by the beginning of next week, I will post a full review of this helpful book on this subject. But until then, I couldn't help but to share a couple thoughts on the Husbands Love and a Wife's Spirit. These are two points of the book that have practically impacted my wife and I. Today, I am going to share the thought for the husband and then on Thursday, the thought for the wife. I only hope this will whet your appetite to potentially read this book.
A Husband's Love
"A husband who models the love of Christ will notice his wife. Love pays attention . . . The love of husbands ought to be characterized by a razor-sharp focus on their wives. This may be easier in the early days of marriage when romantic embers burn brightly and love-struck husbands hardly notice anything other than their wives. But as time wears on and the initial sparks begin to wane, other things--the demands of work, the passion for sports--can steal away a husband's attention. The result is marital stagnation in which superficial and brief conversations and perfunctory kisses take the place of deeper interaction.
Many husbands fail to detect the deterioration, or they look primarily to their wives to stoke the marital flame. Sticking closely to their appointed routines, husbands busy themselves with their own projects. Wives, wishing to please their husbands, keep growing frustrations under wraps and then, unwittingly, begin to slide into a state of emotional indifference or despair. When the sterility of the relationship finally becomes unendurable, wives will erupt into--what seems to their husbands--a volcano of irrational negativity. At that point, the marriage is seriously imperiled.
But the point need never arrive. A vigilant husband consciously nurtures his first love. He views his wife as his most cherished earthly possession. He pays attention to her. And when he does, he makes a startling discovery. She becomes the great delight of his heart. Her personality, her gifts, and her interests--now carefully noted by the eyes of her partner--become to him a source of endless fascination. The words of Solomon stand like a capstone over his heart: he enjoys life with his wife whom he loves (Eccles. 9:9). Because she knows herself to be his greatest treasure, she is filled with joy and the sparks of the marriage rarely diminish" (81-82).
I wonder how many women feel like she is the greatest treasure of her husband. I wonder how many are filled with joy and enthusiasm because she feels the object of his affection. I wonder how many husbands hardly ever take notice of their wife . . . study their wife . . . learn their wife.
This was a helpful reminder for me that I have not finished pursuing my wife. Men, how about you? Do you think it would change your marriage if you set out to know her as well as your hobby? How do you think she would respond if she knew you were more interested in her than Monday Night Football? Think about that and seek to apply that to your marriage today.
On Thursday, I'm going to share one thought of Savage's towards the wife.